don't follow me! i'm blind too!

CFC - Singles For Christ (U.P. Diliman Chapter) invites all single men & women to a Christian Life Program starting on March 10, 2010 from 7:30-10pm at the Delaney Hall, Parish of the Holy Sacrifice, U.P. Diliman. For more information, contact Ryan (09063161870) or Chris (09178158543).

The Recipe for Success

 

Commit everything you do to the Lord.

Trust Him, and he will help you.

Psalm 17:7 NLT

 

 

 

            The Bible contains many promises related to the tasks we perform. The verse above is one of my favorites to pray and stand on whenever I have a job to do. Another one is Proverbs 16:3, “Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed. “God is eager to bless the work of our hands, and He wants us to succeed in all we do. Notice though that He wants us to first entrust our tasks to Him. God wants to be invited into every area of our daily lives, but He is a gentleman. He will not force His help on us. That’s not His style. There’s a certain amount of humility involved in our asking God for help, and often it’s our pride that keeps us from asking. Other times it’s the belief that it’s not a big enough job to seek God’s help with, or it’s one that we’ve performed countless times before. I’m familiar with that way of thinking because I used to think that way myself. Now, no matter how small or insignificant my tasks seem, I ask God for His help, and I believe it please Him greatly. How do I know? Because overall, my work goes more smoothly, the results are better, and I experience more joy and satisfaction.

 

            Next time you ever start to fix your hair or apply your make up, ask for the Lord’s help. When you’re doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, or working on your car, invite God to help you. Commit all your child care and parenting duties to Him. Don’t try to raise kids these days without the divine assistance that God offers you. Don’t try to drive without Him. Take the Lord along with you when you travel. And why would any child of God want to try to get through school without their heavenly Father’s grace, power, and wisdom? If you’re employed, bring God to your job each day, and ask Him to help you be the best employee your company’s ever had. When you “commit everything you do to the Lord,” you will have at your disposal the help of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, as well as a legion of angels if necessary. Today, begin seeking God’s help in all your endeavors, and you can bet “the Lord your God will make you successful in everything you do.” (Deut. 30:9 NLT)

 

 

 

PRAYER

 

Lord, I’m sorry that I’ve often left You out of my everyday activities. Help me to humble myself and ask You for help with everything I do.

When I’m tempted to try to do things on my own, remind me of Your generous offer of help. Deliver me from an independent attitude and help me to rely on the way You desire. Thank You for the greater ease, joy and success I’ll find in all my tasks from now on.

What Happens When

We Share With the

God of Increase

 

 

Another of His disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother,

Spoke up, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves

and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

John 6:9

 

 

            It has always amazed me to read about this boy who offered up his bread and fish for the multitude. What was he thinking? Didn’t he realize how inadequate such a meager portion would be among so many? And could he have been the only one out of all those thousands of people who had any food with him that day? Not likely. The rest were either reluctant to share what they have, or they figured that what they had to offer would be nothing more than a worthless contribution. The scriptures tell us that just this one boy offered up his meal to the Lord. As a result, one of the greatest miracles recorded in the Gospels comes to pass.

 

            Have you ever felt that you didn’t have much to offer anyone, let alone God? If He can feed a multitude with just a few loaves and fishes, imagine what He could do with even your most meager resources. Try offering God your time, material resources, and talents, and give Him the opportunity to use you in ways you could never imagine!

 

 

 

PRAYER

 

Lord, forgive me for the times I’ve failed to share my personal resources with You and others, especially when there are so many people in need. Help me to see all the potential good that even the smallest gifts You’ve given me can do. Give me the faith and compassion to wholeheartedly offer them up to you so that others may be blessed and You may be glorified.

Serving…

and Loving?

 

I am a preacher. I have a program over Radio Veritas twice a week. I have a show aired over TV Maria every evening. I lead the Feast in Bulacan every Saturday. And in between I give talks, seminars, retreats and recollections to schools, companies and church communities.

 
I talk, sing, and write about God. I do a lot of things to serve Him.

 
But let me share with you very vital learnings I gained from the mentor of many servant leaders, Mike Joseph, Jr., a pioneer in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal.

 
He said, “You can be very busy for God but may not really grow in love for God and others!”

 

Shocked? Figure out these profound truths and see how it may strike you.

 
            “You may talk about God but may not be talking to Him!”

            “You may be busy for the kingdom, but have no time for the King!”

            “You may be in love with the service but not with the Lord of the service!”

            “You may be doing good works but not God’s work!”

 
In fact, Mike adds, “You may be working for Him but not with Him!>

 

Perplexed?

 
Then consider this, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord… did we not do mighty deeds in your name?”’ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you...” (Matthew 7:21-23).

 
Truth is, you can keep yourself extremely busy doing things but miss these crucial points: “What are you becoming because of your service? Are you growing into a loving person because of these religious activities? Or are you just simply a very busy person?

 
Here are some basic and powerful secrets I learned to guard me from the dangers of just being busy without truly loving:
 

1. Pray. Spend time talking to God – and listening to Him. Let your ministry flow from a personal, loving relationship with the true source of and reason for your service. (Abide in me because without me you can do nothing. – John 15:4-5)
   
   
2. Love. Start with your family. You will have serious troubles proclaiming that you want to serve and love others if you cannot serve and love the very persons you promised God to serve and love. Remember your marriage vows? How about your promises during your child’s baptism? (That’s why no matter how busy you I am I have reserved the days and dates with my wife, with my son, and with both of them.)
   
   
3. Love yourself. That’s right! You don’t have to say yes to all invitations, seminars, ministries, and opportunities to serve if you’re draining and killing yourself in the process – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (unless you’re a candidate for martyrdom). You want to serve more? Then learn to say no. This is not selfishness but so you can care better for others. Take care of yourself so you can “finish the race!” (Love your neighbor as yourself – Mark 12:31).
   
   
4. Enjoy serving and check the fruits. So you have the gifts to serve. Amen! But do you have joy? Peace? Patience? Humility? If your service is resulting to more sorrow, more “unpeace,” more envy, jealousy, intrigue, and hatred, you may want to ask where these fruits are coming from. Last I checked they don’t come from the Holy Spirit. (In contrast, the fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control… - Galatians 5:22-23
   
   

Ultimately, you know you are truly serving when you do things with so much love from God and for God that it overflows to others.

Happy serving… and loving!

Bro. Alvin Barcelona

K preacher

 

 

Theres The Rub
‘Teyktu’

By Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:05:00 08/20/2009

 

 

Maraming nag-text sa akin matapos mabasa ’yung kolum ko noong Lunes, “Ser, isa pa nga.”

Bakit nga hindi? Bitin nga ang isa, parang beer. Agosto pa rin naman, at buwan pa rin ng Wika. At bukas ay Agosto 21, isang makasaysayang araw na humihiling—hindi, nag-uutos—na gunitain sa paraang malapit sa kamalayang Pilipino. Ano pa ang mas malapit sa kamalayang Pilipino kundi wikang Pilipino? Kahit na pang-text lang ang alam kong Pilipino.

Hindi mahirap hanapin ang paksa para dyan. Iisa ang tampok na elemento sa Agosto 21, isang elemento na tampok din ngayon sa pagkawala. Yan ang katapangan.

Matapang tayo noon, duwag tayo ngayon.

Katapangan ang buod ng mga katagang, “Hindi ka nag-iisa.” Yan ang mga katagang umalingawngaw sa buong bayan matapos pagbabarilin si Ninoy Aquino sa airport noong Agosto 21, 1983. Sa buong panahon ng pagkaburol n’ya, at lalong-lalo na sa pagdala sa kanya sa huling hantungan, yan ang madasaling binubulong, o galit na sinisigaw, ng taongbayan: “Hindi ka nag-iisa.”

Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng “Hindi ka nag-iisa?”

Simple lang. Hindi ka nag-iisa dahil, kagaya mo, handa rin kaming magsakripisyo para sa bayan. Kagaya mo, handa rin kaming kumilos para sa bayan. Kagaya mo, handa rin kaming mamatay para sa bayan.

Mga katagang sinabi, o pinahiwatig, natin noon hindi lang kay Ninoy kundi sa lahat ng nagbuwis ng buhay sa panahon ng kadiliman—marami sa kanila ay nasa Wall of Remembrance ng Bantayog ng mga Bayani ngayon. ’Yan din ang isa pang kahulugan ng “Hindi ka nag-iisa.” Hindi lang si Ninoy ang nagbuwis ng buhay para sa bayan noong panahong ’yon, marami pa.

Sino na lang ang nagsasabi ng “Hindi ka nag-iisa” ngayon? O sino na lang ang nagsasabi n’yan ngayon na me gano’ng kahulugan? Dahil pag naririnig ko ang “Hindi ka nag-iisa” ngayon, ang dating sa ’kin ay parang death wish na lang ng Pinoy. Tipong: “O, sige, isali n’yo na rin ako sa kabaong. Tama na, sobra na, ayoko na. Suko na ini. ”

Paano tayo umabot sa gano’n? Paano tayo nawalan ng katapangan? O diretsuhin na natin, paano tayo naduwag?

Gusto ko sanang sabihing nabakla na siguro tayo, pero di lang sa magagalit sa akin ang mga kaibigan kong bakla kundi marami akong kilalang bakla na matapang. Nangunguna na d’yan si Lino Brocka na sa tindi ng galit sa mga kahibangan noon ni Manoling Morato ay sinigawan ng “Bakla!” Iilan lang ang kakilala kong makakatapat kay Brocka sa katapangan.

Ang nakikita na lang nating katapangan ngayon, at talaga namang laganap na, ay katapangan ng apog. Ang katapangangang yon ay wala ring pinipiling kampon, babae, lalaki o bakla. Equal opportunity, ika nga. Tapang ng apog ang kumikitil sa bayan, tapang ng apog ang pumapatay sa bayan. Tingnan mo ang mga nasa poder ngayon at tanong mo sa sarili kung may makikita ka ring katapat nila sa ganyang katapangan.

Pero yo’ng totoong katapangan, nasaan na?

Angal tayo ng angal, wala naman tayong ginagawa para tigilan ang kawalanghiyaan. Angal tayo ng angal, hindi naman tayo kumikilos para paayusin ang buhay.

Sino’ng inaasahan nating gagawa niyan? Ang Diyos, sa pamagitan ng pagbigay ng lupus o sakit ng tiyan sa pagkabondat sa mga taong bwisit sa buhay natin? Ang Amerika, na nagpapanggap na tagapagtanggol ng demokrasya sa buong mundo pero ayos lang na masikil ang kalayaan sa bansa ni Una? O “sila na lang,” ang ating mga kapitbahay na lang, ang ating mga tagapagtanggol na lang, dahil tayo ay me pamilya, dahil tayo ay kailangang maghanap-buhay, dahil tayo ay sobrang busy.

Sino ba ang walang pamilya? Kaya ka nga kumikilos ay para masilayan ng mga anak mo ang isang lipunang may liwanag at katarungan. Sino ba ang di kailangang maghanap-buhay? Kaya ka nga naghahanap ng buhay para di mo matagpuan ang patay—na pwedeng maging literal balang araw sa bangkay ng anak mo na lulutang-lutang sa ilog dahil ginawa n’ya ang di mo ginawa, ang di mo nagawa, ang di mo magawa. Dahil takot ka. Dahil busy ka.

Nakanino ba ang kapangyarihang hintuin ang katiwalian? Nakanino ba ang kapangyarihang hintuin ang pagbansot sa bayan? Di ba nasa atin? Di ba pag nagagalit tayo ay napipigilan nating bumili ng mamahaling jet ang mumurahing tao? Di pa kumikilos tayo ay napipigilan natin isulong ang Cha-cha ng mga taong di naman marunong sumayaw? Di ba pag pinapakita natin ang ating kapangyarihan ay napapatalsik natin ang mga taong kapit-tuko sa kapangyarihan?

Me mga nagsasabi na hindi naman tayo nawalan ng tapang, nawalan lang tayo ng paki. Gano’n din ’yon. Kaduwagan din yon. O higit pa ro’n. Dahil ngayon hindi ka lang takot mamatay, takot ka pang mabuhay.

Bukas, maraming mga pagtitipon-tipon sa paggunita ng makasaysayang Agosto 21. Isa na dyan ay ang prayer rally sa Ninoy statue sa Ayala na gaganapin sa ika-3:00 ng hapon hanggang gabi. Na ang hiling ng mga organizers ay kung maaari ay magsuot ng dilaw ang mga tao para ipakita ang pakikiramay, pagpupugay, at pakikiisa kay Cory. Hanep din tayong Pinoy ano: Dilaw ang kulay ng kaduwagan sa ibang bansa, dilaw ang kulay ng katapangan sa ating bansa.

Pwede kang sumama rito at sumigaw ng “Tama na, sobra na, palitan na” para sa kinabukasan ng mga anak mo. Pwede kang sumama rito para magsabi kay Inang Bayan, “Hindi ka nag-iisa,” handa rin kaming mamatay nang dahil sa ’yo, at higit na handang mabuhay nang para sa yo. Pwede kang sumama rito para ipakita na hindi pa nawawala ang katapangan sa bayan ko, binihag ka, ang dugo ng mga bayani ay nananalaytay sa mga ugat mo.

O pwede kang huwag sumama rito dahil ang bukang-bibig mo ngayon ay hindi na “Hindi ka nag-iisa” kundi “Bahala ka sa buhay mo.” Pwede kang huwag sumama rito dahil marami ka pang mahalagang gagawin, kagaya nang manuod ng “G.I Joe.” Pwede kang huwag sumama rito dahil mas okay sa yo ang maging patay kahit buhay pa kesa maging buhay kahit patay na. Pero kung gano’n:

Mag-isa ka.

 

May araw din kayo

By Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:04:00 08/17/2009


Tatagalugin ko na nang makuha n’yo. Kahit na lingwaheng kanto lang ang alam kong Tagalog.

Tutal Buwan ng Wika naman ang Agosto. Baka sakali ’yung paboritong wika ni Balagtas ay makatulong sa pag-unawa n’yo dahil mukhang ’yung paboritong wika ni Shakespeare ay lampas sa IQ n’yo. Kung sa bagay, ang pinakamahirap gisingin ay ’yung nagtutulug-tulugan. Ang pinakamahirap padinggin ay ’yung nagbibingi-bingihan . Ang pinakamahirap paintindihin ay ’yung nagmamaangmaangan. Bueno, mahirap din paintindihin ’yung likas na tanga. Pero bahala na.

Sabi mo, Cerge Remonde, alangan naman pakanin ng hotdog ang amo mo. Bakit alangan? Hindi naman vegetarian ’yon. At public service nga ’yon, makakatulong dagdagan ng cholesterol at salitre ang dugong dumadaloy papuntang puso n’ya. Kung meron man s’yang dugo, kung meron man s’yang puso.

Bakit alangan? Malamang di ka nagbabasa ng balita, o di lang talaga nagbabasa, kung hindi ay nalaman mo ’yung ginawa ni Barack Obama at Joe Biden nitong nakaraang Mayo. Galing silang White House patungong Virginia nang magtakam sila pareho ng hamburger. Pina detour nila ang motorcade at tumuloy sa unang hamburgerang nakita nila. Ito ang Ray’s Hell Burger, isang maliit at independienteng hamburger joint.

Tumungo ang dalawa sa counter at sila mismo ang nag-order, hindi mga aides. Nagbayad sila ng cash na galing sa sariling bulsa at kagaya ng ibang customers ay pumila para sa turno nila.

Ito ay presidente at bise presidente ng pinakamakapangyarih ang bansa sa buong mundo. Kung sa bagay, ’yung amo n’yo ay hindi naman talaga presidente. Di lang makita ang pagkakaiba ni Garci kay God kaya nasabing “God put me here.” Pekeng presidente, pekeng asal presidente.

Sabi mo, Anthony Golez, maliit lang ang P1 million dinner kumpara sa bilyon-bilyong pisong dinala ng amo mo sa bansa.

Ay kayo lang naman ang nagsasabing may inambag ang amo n’yo na bilyong-bilyong piso sa kaban ng bayan. Ni anino noon wala kaming nakita. Ang nakita lang namin ay yung bilyon-bilyong piso—o borjer, ayon nga sa inyong dating kakosa na si Benjamin Abalos—na inaswang ng amo n’yo sa kaban ng bayan. Executive privilege daw ang hindi n’ya sagutin ito. Kailan pa naging pribilehiyo ng isang opisyal ang di managot sa taumbayan? Kailan pa naging pribilehiyo ng isang opisyal ang magnakaw?

Maliit lang pala ang P1 million, ay bakit hindi n’yo na lang ibigay sa nagugutom? O doon sa mga sundalo sa Mindanao? Tama si Archbishop Oscar Cruz. Isipin n’yo kung gaano karaming botas man lang ang mabibili ng P1 million at karagdagang P750,000 na nilamon ng amo n’yo at mga taga bitbit ng kanyang maleta sa isa pang restawran sa New York.

Maliit lang pala ang P1 million (at P750,000), bakit hindi n’yo na lang ibigay doon sa pamilya ng mga sundalong namatay sa Mindanao? Magkano ’yung gusto n’yong ibigay sa bawat isa? P20,000? Sa halagang iyan 50 sundalo na ang maaabuluyan n’yo sa $20,000. Pasalu-saludo pa ’yang amo n’yo sa mga namatay na kala mo ay talagang may malasakit. Bumenta na ’yang dramang ’yan. At pasabi-sabi pa ng “Annihilate the Abus!” Di ba noon pa n’ya ’yan pinangako? Mahilig lang talagang mangako ’yang amo n’yo.

Bukod pa d’yan, saan ba nanggaling ’yung limpak-limpak na salapi ng mga kongresista na pinansisindi nila ng tabako? Di ba sa amin din? Tanong n’yo muna kung ayos lang na i-blowout namin ng wine at caviar ang amo n’yo habang kami ay nagdidildil ng asin—’yung magaspang na klase ha, ’di yung iodized. Ang tindi n’yo, mga p’re.

At ikaw naman, Romulo Macalintal, tapang ng apog mo. Maiisip mo tuloy na sundin na lang ang mungkahi ni Dick the Butcher sa “Henry VI” ni Shakespeare: “First thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” Pa ethics-ethics ka pa, pasalamat ka di nasunog ang bibig mo sa pagbigkas ng katagang ’yon.

Marami mang sugapa rin sa aming mga taga media, di naman kasing sugapa n’yo. At di naman kami sineswelduhan ng taumbayan. Wala naman kaming problemang sumakay sa PAL at kailangan pang bumili ng P1.2 billion jet. Anong sabi n’yo, kailangan ng amo n’yo sa pabyahe-byahe? E sino naman ang may sabing magbabyahe s’ya? Ngayon pang paalis na s’ya—malinaw na ayaw n’yang umalis. Bakit hindi na lang s’ya bumili ng Matchbox na eroplano? Kasya naman s’ya ro’n.

Lalo kayong nagpupumiglas, lalo lang kayong lumulubog sa kumunoy. Di n’yo malulusutan ang bulilyasong ginawa n’yo. Para n’yo na ring inagaw ang isinusubong kanin ng isang batang nagugutom. Tama si Obama at Biden: Sa panahon ng recession, kung saan nakalugmok ang mga Amerikano sa hirap, dapat makiramay ang mga pinuno sa taumbayan, di nagpapakapariwara. Sa panahon ng kagutuman, na matagal nang kalagayan ng Pinoy, at lalo pang tumindi sa paghagupit ng Typhoon Gloria, dapat siguro uminom na lang kayo ng insecticide. Gawin n’yo ’yan at mapapawi kaagad ang kagutuman ng bayan.

Sa bandang huli, buti na rin lang at ginawa n’yo ’yung magpasasa sa P1 million dinner habang lupaypay ang bayan sa kagutuman—di lang sa kawalan ng pagkain kundi sa iba pang bagay—at pagdadalamhati sa yumaong Ina ng Bayan. Binigyan n’yo ng mukha ang katakawan. Katakawang walang kabusugan. Mukhang di nakita ng masa sa usaping NBN, mukhang di nakikita ng masa sa usaping SAL. Mukhang nakita lang ng masa dito sa ginawa n’yong ito. Sa pagpapabondat sa New York habang naghihinagpis ang bayan.

At buti na rin lang mayroon tayong sariling wika. Di sapat ang Inggles para iparamdam sa inyo ang suklam na nararamdaman namin sa inyo. Di sapat ang Inggles para ipakita sa inyo ang pagkamuhi na nararamdaman namin sa inyo. Di maarok ng Inggles ang lalim ng poot na nararamdaman namin sa inyo.

Isinusuka na kayo ng taumbayan, mahirap man sumuka ang gutom.

May araw din kayo.

ADDICTED TO PUSHING A BIT HARDER

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

You are behind a driver that doesn’t immediately move when traffic clears, so what do you do? Wait for the car to move? Tap your horn immediately? Or just ignore the driver while your blood pressure climbs 10 points?

Rushing, pushing, and pressure to get moving becomes an addiction that only you can break. When marriage and family therapist Erik Johnson began expressing his pent-up frustrations in his driving, his wife complained. Others saw his anger, but not he. “Managing my emotions would be easy,” he said, “if others would stop pushing my buttons!”

He then started thinking about his life, understanding that the pent-up feelings didn’t begin when he turned the key to start the car. He brought them with him—emotional baggage—and the traffic simply intensified them. You know, he’s not alone, either.

You either control your emotions, or they control you. So how do you break the addiction to busyness? If you are a type A, highly motivated person, breaking the addiction doesn’t come easy.

Try these ideas. First ask whether your expectations are realistic. What do you expect of yourself, of your family, and of others? What you can do, others may not be able to accomplish, and to be angry with them or berate them only creates a tension that can escalate out of control.

Can we excuse our escalating stress which causes relationship problems by saying, “These are hard times. Everybody is under pressure, and I just can’t do anything about it. I can’t help what I do.”

Who would deny the fact that life today is not easy. The flip side of that is that none of us chooses the decades of his life, but we do choose whether or not we will see beyond the immediate storm and thunder-clouds to what lies beyond. Preserving relationships involving your wife or husband, your children, your friends and associates is far more important that allowing your stress to wound them.

When your expectations have become unrealistic, it’s time to take the next step—something that only you can do: Unload the excess weight of your life. You can’t do it all, remember? OK, decide what you realistically can handle, and draw a line and say, “This far and not a smidgen further!” Of necessity you have to program some “down time” to smell the flowers, to sit and relax, and reflect on God’s blessing in your life.

On his 75th birthday, Billy Graham was asked how he wanted to be remembered, and thinking for a moment he said, “I’d like to be remembered as someone who was fun to be around.” Surprised? I was. To be very honest with you I started thinking of my life and how my grandchildren would remember me, and I decided that remembering me as a loving person, someone they enjoyed being with, was more important that writing one more book, or doing one more conference. Taking this step means going through another door: Prioritize your expectations. Make three categories: a “must do,” a “should do” and an “I’ll do it when I can” list.

Question: Is it possible that we have taken on far more than God ever intended us to deal with? We have become slaves to the phone, to the computer, to the unrealistic expectations of bosses and employers who have already sacrificed their families on the altar of the expedient and expect you to do the same thing.

When your “must do” is too long, you know you are facing a potential problem. Stop pushing. Then those around you will be more relaxed and joyful, too. Try it. You’ll like it. It is not too late to change, but you will never start sooner than today.

Resource reading: Mark 10:13-16.

by: Dr. Harold Sala (Guidelines)

Have a great and blessed day!
:-)

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How do you catch the right one?
(for the sisters... for brothers na ren...)

This is worth reading, I recommend you completely finish reading this
until the end and this is also worth sharing with others who might find
this piece useful too.

God bless! ^_^

P.S. *Although the intended readers are women, this is a good read for
men as well.*

=========

A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one?

Simple: You take only the bus that's headed the RIGHT DIRECTION.

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second,
the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual
basis before it's made on an emotional one.

What about love?, you ask. I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful
above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider
things rationally and intelligently - it just loves to love!

Therefore you have to point it in the right directions: "Above all
else,guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23).

Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out
his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.

Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe
that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then
marriage.

Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and
accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another
exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of
the marriage altar.

It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together
after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely
to gather facts.

So when you do gather facts, let us compare the process to clothes
shopping.

1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man
have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he
care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as
well as another co-laborer in the faith?

Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining
a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same
family - the family of God?

Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14).

You need to have common interest and values and agree on the essentials
of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the
same diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests,
like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had
like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the
idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.

Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and
your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.

Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married
and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy
says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If
he's not going your direction, get off the bus & wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for
you will pursue you and God's hand in the relationship will be clear.
No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a
wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov 18:22).

Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of
time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put
them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene
and he will find you.

In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate.
Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do
not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a
guy out because he's shy. Men will do whatever they have to do to get
what they truly want.

The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price
in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your
hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign
that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has suggested that it
is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As
cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to
think about it:

"We love him because he first loved us" (1 Jn 4:19).

Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men
in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only
one man- your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust
me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man
at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker.

Relax, sit pretty and allow your self to be found. Again - WAIT until
the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing
the relationship.

You may have inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to
set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you -
this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all
men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the
relationship.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only
into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his
intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take
care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he
needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be
a suitable lover for you.

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather
flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and
his friends.

A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet.
They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when
he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot
forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her?
This is your preview of how he will treat you.

There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with
their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues
between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.
Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your
life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making
commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always
someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does
he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all
garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin
to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your
life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right
stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that
vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING
his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is
busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is your guy guided by sense
of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around
him?

A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person
-
and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A
man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission
statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because
he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your
achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his
own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating
dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best
out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee
from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You
want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ.

Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his
home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you,
and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has
ordained for you to complement.

9. Complementarity. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his
gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the
two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the
lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate
your gifts in an attractive and effective way?

This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts
beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping always consider the fabric,
the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be
a complementary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am
going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit,
I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition.

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent
yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the
relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive
spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make
you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you
as the gift that you are?

The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless
jewel - because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any
relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable,
undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!

God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only
materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be
richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your
dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart
and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the
man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has
made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care
for you.

A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself
will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you
can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of
spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he
should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is
causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he
is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your
commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the
Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare
to pay for a ride that has a limited run.

If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your
love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your
union will not be able to survive.

So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love
worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God
himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His
life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the
example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride.
Should you expect less from a mortal man?

Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the
hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that
anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for
free.

Your prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been
with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to
leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your
hands for safekeeping.

Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so
precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from
Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never
settle for less than what you desire for me.

As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the
haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more
discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this
area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart.

I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would
draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to
the mate that You have selected for me.

Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse
me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I
see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own
understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I
yield to Your choice. In Jesus Name. Amen